The Real Leroy McCoy

There is those moments when you look over and see a sharp and depressing memory. There’s just a simple name or like a song that just pierces at you. 

The month of April is rough. There is nothing simple and short to say about it other than it fucking sucks. 

That’s just me.

April is like the month that just creeps up on me and then all of the sudden the world just crashes down on me. 

I make stupid mistakes. Where I am I just in this snowball effect of rushing feelings. I know certain things shouldn’t effect me the way it does but it does. 

I fall too hard

I commit too easily

And 

I fear too little

That bites me in the ass. Sometimes we do things without thinking. We just get in the car and drive. Put on our favorite song and boom we are in a trance. A love trance it’s easy to avoid the truth of the reality. I sneak off to my favorite bar when I am just needing to get out. 

Doing things that scare you....

I don’t like going to places alone. Like ever. Today I went to a bar well it’s not really a bar it’s like a lounge. It’s not dark and dingy it’s cute and there’s a cute bartender. (He’s a nice man). Anywhore, we escape. Here I am. 

My last few posts I thought about posting were not good enough. 

I know that’s silly to say but they weren’t not enough for my groupies/readers.

There wasn’t enough heart, emotion, just honest truth.

There are songs that are reminders of your past. I am guilty of it constantly. I can’t go anywhere without being reminded of the truth. The truth is. 

Well. I don’t have my shit together I never will. 

But I am trying
It just hard when you live in this town full of people who know exactly who you are and know your past lover/ best friend who now happen to be dating. (Heart wrenching I know.)

Moral of this story is,

Past are constantly coming and going. Little reminders of how far you have grown are a good thing. Welcome them. But,
Don’t dwell like I do. 

Guilty as charged. 

“Mean what you say, say what you mean.” 

Don’t play around and be honest to yourself about what you want. 

Who wants to talk to someone who doesn’t see the potential you see. 

XXX,

Shell