Phone Calls With My Best Friend - Jenna
There is always a point where I come back in contact : REALITY.
I finally started to do things for me and make as some would say money moves. Sure, this can all be expensive but what i have found is spending money on experiences rather than just possessions. The experiences become possessions in my heart. Memories that I can never return back to anyone because, it was mine and in the moment. Purely, just a moment in time indescribable squandering encounter with light.
In my ideal blissful excursions there is a crap ton of yellows, blues and oranges. Being explosively engulfed in my choices. Do not get me wrong there is always repercussions in my own choices. Some choices end in alienation, some end in anger, but do I take them back? No.
There are times where I look back on my past. The smiles, the conversations, especially the awkward moments. What I am having the most difficult time with at the moment is well, If you ever read my first post "Beginning The Boogie" I quotes Stevie Nicks "If you are gracious, you have won the game." right now I feel as though I have lost the game. The world is not just one big game I know that, but honestly lately I have been trying to be something that I am not.
My stomach turns at the thought of that.
1. I don't like lying. *We all are guilty of it
2. I don't like drinking till the ass crack of dawn *Exceptions to the rule
3. I don't like be categorized as a blonde rich bitch.(Get to know me. We'll talk. I'll fucking blow your mind)
4. I don't like when people don't truly try to get to know people or give them a chance. *Make friends dammit
5. I don't like to pretend I am something that I am not. *I try to fit in too much
6. I don't like money grubbers *I steal Dave's change on the counter ( I think he knows and accepts it now)
This is just lately, I have had this fear of losing people but, ultimately if the people who I was afraid to lose were really important and truly there for me, they wouldn't leave.
People don't just up and leave and choose to not be in your life. We all get angry and need some time but if they are who you think they are, they will come back around. In life we all make choices that some people don't like, but if we lived our lives revolving around someone else's wants or needs it would be fucked. " We are all fucked"- Cortney Martin. I used to just laugh at this statement but now. Now I see it. If we don't go after something that we want, we will always just wonder.
Wandering minds.
Those things are fucking crazy (I'm sorry for the profanity). We make these stories in our minds about what if's where, personally in my mind I lose my fucking shit a lot. All bets are off if I carry out my what if's then, never actually live my life.
Those what if's are meant to be carried out, some are at least. This is your life. Live it, don't regret things because there isn't enough time to look back.
Memories are important but not regrets.
LOVE,
Shell
xxxx
Do things that scare you, regardless of other opinions.
I finally started to do things for me and make as some would say money moves. Sure, this can all be expensive but what i have found is spending money on experiences rather than just possessions. The experiences become possessions in my heart. Memories that I can never return back to anyone because, it was mine and in the moment. Purely, just a moment in time indescribable squandering encounter with light.
In my ideal blissful excursions there is a crap ton of yellows, blues and oranges. Being explosively engulfed in my choices. Do not get me wrong there is always repercussions in my own choices. Some choices end in alienation, some end in anger, but do I take them back? No.
There are times where I look back on my past. The smiles, the conversations, especially the awkward moments. What I am having the most difficult time with at the moment is well, If you ever read my first post "Beginning The Boogie" I quotes Stevie Nicks "If you are gracious, you have won the game." right now I feel as though I have lost the game. The world is not just one big game I know that, but honestly lately I have been trying to be something that I am not.
My stomach turns at the thought of that.
1. I don't like lying. *We all are guilty of it
2. I don't like drinking till the ass crack of dawn *Exceptions to the rule
3. I don't like be categorized as a blonde rich bitch.(Get to know me. We'll talk. I'll fucking blow your mind)
4. I don't like when people don't truly try to get to know people or give them a chance. *Make friends dammit
5. I don't like to pretend I am something that I am not. *I try to fit in too much
6. I don't like money grubbers *I steal Dave's change on the counter ( I think he knows and accepts it now)
This is just lately, I have had this fear of losing people but, ultimately if the people who I was afraid to lose were really important and truly there for me, they wouldn't leave.
People don't just up and leave and choose to not be in your life. We all get angry and need some time but if they are who you think they are, they will come back around. In life we all make choices that some people don't like, but if we lived our lives revolving around someone else's wants or needs it would be fucked. " We are all fucked"- Cortney Martin. I used to just laugh at this statement but now. Now I see it. If we don't go after something that we want, we will always just wonder.
Wandering minds.
Those things are fucking crazy (I'm sorry for the profanity). We make these stories in our minds about what if's where, personally in my mind I lose my fucking shit a lot. All bets are off if I carry out my what if's then, never actually live my life.
Those what if's are meant to be carried out, some are at least. This is your life. Live it, don't regret things because there isn't enough time to look back.
Memories are important but not regrets.
LOVE,
Shell
xxxx
Do things that scare you, regardless of other opinions.
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