Time can be so blunt ‘til’ it’s no fun

How do you show your true colors? We all have our quirks. Sometimes they aren’t desirable and maybe sometimes  they are as cute as a button. More often then not it’s hard to express yourself in a manner that makes sense to everyone. I honestly can’t even explain myself or really explain anything in that matter unless I write to you. Sometimes people believe in phone calls or maybe a hand written letter. I used to hope for a letter written to me when I was younger. I would hope that someone would take the time sit down and think about what they wanted to say to me. I’d go through my parents bills and stupid postcards from god knows who a distant third cousin, Jim, and for some odd reason I’d be jealous.  Then again I was like eight and I’m pretty sure I couldn’t write a proper letter with any clear thought. So here I am. Quirks. Well, I let things pile up. Much like my room which I think prolly anyone who reads this has a chair full of useless shit, that they prolly don’t need just like me. I think I only wear like three different outfits and that’s it. Back to the quirks. So, I let things pile up little stupid things that shouldn’t matter and then they start to become a problem. I don’t like to tell people when things bother me because well that’s not what I’m about. My issues will never be as big as other people’s well I hope so. Anywho, things get crazy in this head of mine and then once I get to my melting point, which usually takes awhile, I blow up like ww3. I take out anyone who’s in reach. Most of the time it’s the people I love the most. Quirks. I think this could be a quirk or just a crazy defense mechanism that really isn’t helping anyone. As I sit here in my room I look at my cluster fuck of a mess and I wonder what’s next. How do you stop yourself from changing? Or is the change that’s happening nessecary? Is it all that bad to show all your flaws or war wounds..
Leaving it like so. Love to you. XX shell.