Snorkeling Around the Island

Im just a small town girl who has not really seemed to jump out of her own comfort zone  unfortunately, my town is not really all that small but I think I kind of have made it that way. Sure we all like to think we are adventurous and outgoing but sometimes we get stuck in the same town with the same people who honestly we don't really even like. Maybe that is me just being fake, maybe I am just dealing with the Bullshit or quite honestly I might just be being normal. Yes I capitalized the Bullshit. I do not want to just be normal. Normal is just not worth it for me. Does not quite get my wheels turning. Normalcy to me is blan. You never get to tell those stupid wild stories where your more normal friends  (who I adore) look to you for advice or just straight up laugh their asses off about your silly run ins in life. Sometimes, we do things for the experiences but if we are stuck in the same town is that really doing it for the experience or are you just living in the same footsteps as others?  Maybe, I am too complacent but, how can somebody be okay without the thrill of it all (cliche)? If we travel to places and there wasn't people who were hometowners than we would find no reason to stay right?

   So here is the scoop I traveled to see my best friend of all time. We have been through thick and thin. She has had my back from the beginning to now, we have had some good ass times and some not so great times . No matter what the world takes us through we manage to come out stronger. Worth the trip just to see my person. I think that best friends are the end game and then the potential suitors just come and go. The guys have to deal with the best friends and the real test is if they can withstand . So I travel to an Island expecting nothing but to break my six month dry spell. Thank god I broke it because my friends back in the US were about to kill me. Six months are we kidding?? Who does that? Well, prolly a lot of people but not usually me. Call me a hoe but a girl likes the action am I right?  However, I am  human  I can get a glimpse of something or someone without even knowing the full story and become so intrigued. I tend to act on impulse and most of the time it works out super well. My emotions in my mind make some handsome fellow into something so unrealistic. Sure, we should probably leave things with a one night stand but what’s the fun of that. Who wants to be alone for their existence?
I can’t help but wonder what if about a silly handsome fellow.
In my life I have never been afraid to be in my life I’ve never been afraid to be forward, however it usually burns the bridges with potential suitors. They never know what hits them.



Two things I learned form the trip

1. Experiences are necessary for you to carry out. Naturally, shitty things happen but good things happen to you as well and if you don't put yourself out there then nothing comes your way regardless of the scenario.

2. Your girlfriends or friends are what keeps your wheels turning. 

I came across a doctor in the airport in Vancover Canada. He and I got to talking. He told me he was married twice and explained the whole scenario. Met a girl fell in love college life got too real too quick. Life went on and he got the balls and realized she wasn't the girl. Later on he found a woman who "completed him" whatever.. the reality was in picture perfect scenario was that even the smartest of the smarts don't know what they want.. This man ,an actual genius,  had no idea what he wanted all up until he was forty. So as I took this information I realized "damn girl you go" twenty- one and single as fuck. Can’t complain about that I guess.. but at least I'm not in mind numbing relationship that means nothing right? 

Well, Love does not mean nothing even in the stupidest smallest forms. I do not care who you are but you know that one night stand brought your life back to earth. It was one less night of imagining or fucking jerking off to the thought of not being alone. Loneliness is rough because you never know when its going to end. One night stands are great and tough only because it's that one instance where hey you could be it but I am going to keep my mouth shut for this few moments I have with you and make all the wrong moves. Sure I might never see you again but in the morning I could regret not sticking around and thinking too far into it. You're in luck whoever escaped my reigns. I love too hard and when you're not ready for it, it can be too much. 

Looking for love can be a lot but hey thats what I am here for regardless.