Where did you go Mr.Napkin man?

Before reading this next little post put on "Icy Grl" by Saweetie . "Oh honey you are so much better than him" followed after with a casual "You are way hotter" then quickly after you get the knife to a heart statement "You're relationship was toxic anyways”. All these statements are said all damn day. Girls going through that classic break up going through the stages where in the end you my friends are single as fuck just like me. Are those "positive" affirmations really worth hearing do they truly make you feel better as you are going through your struggle? "Nothing is easy, Love isn't easy" Waiting around for things to change in a world thats so quick makes me nervous. So like any dumb girl living in a small city I decided to take matters into my own hands. My friends and I thought you know what chivalry isn't dead we too can approach the male species. We could casually make that first move. Give him the "what up" but then again that was too hard for the awkward bunch so we devised a plan and wrote a short but goofy love note on a napkin. GOLD. Well thats what we thought at the time. We were at our favorite coffee shop giggling like little girls because thats what we were at the time. So we put it to a test when we left the shop we tapped this dashingly handosme man and scurried out of the shop. It wasn't as smooth as that we literally ran screaming because naturally first trials all have their errors with plenty more to come. We made the mistake of not making sure any of us had to use the bathroom so JB had to go back in and walk past the man. They made eye contact as she was running back to the car we thought we blew it. Theres this song that we were obsessed with (still am) which I made you listen to before reading if you didn't well you're one of those heart breakers you and I'm digging it. Rebel. ANYWAYS so we were driving along listening to this song and then we got the text. Classic his name was Michael and he was into the napkin. Who the hell napkins these days. No one cause clearly, we are the weirdos. If you decide to use this trademark idea I would advise against napkining your neighbor across the street from my own personal experience. Apparently, he's in a committed relationship and I'm a dumb-ass who didn't think to scope it out before dropping off the very precious napkin. I'm telling you there was some comedic gold on that. I do have a certain instance in which it worked precisely just the way its fabulous powers should. I had a lovely evening with a lovely gal we grabbed an extremely warm bowl of soup and I saw a man and I went for it the scene was the same as last we giggled like a group of hyenas but it worked like a charm. The wedding is in a year or so so don't hold your breath.